Several months ago I had a "déjà vu smell" experience. It happened while I was at Brunch on the Beach at the home of Paula Thomas on Alki. As I stood in the kitchen surrounded by women of our church, the smell of the sea air wafting through the house caused a kaleidoscope of memories to replay in my mind – walking on Alki with my dad as a small child, getting caught in a rip-current at Ocean Shores while clam digging, a serious talk at Golden Gardens with my then boyfriend Tom before we got engaged, walking the beaches of San Juan Island with him on our 7th anniversary, and our last walk on Alki just months before his death in 1994. It only took a minute for the images and emotions of those life changing moments to pass through my mind, but it was a powerful whole being type of experience.
When I got home, I immediately sat down to document the experience while it was still fresh in my mind. The words just seemed to flow from my fingertips; the emotions and lessons learned from each shoreline walk brought smiles and tears. After more than two hours of writing and editing I was ready to publish the post. All I needed to do was insert a picture to make it look appealing.
Note to self . . . always write your blog posts in Word and save them before you actually start working in the blog program. That’s what I usually did, but that day I deviated and started writing directly in my blog. As I was trying to get the text to wrap properly around the picture, I mistakenly hit CTRL A (select all command) and the back button. That combination deleted all the content of the post. Before I could hit undo, I lost my internet connection and the blog program froze up. My heart sank; I knew I had lost it all.
I tried for an hour to reconstruct the post, but the process of getting it out of my head and into black and white had literally sapped all the memories and insights from my mind. My creativity had been exhausted. As the deaf saying goes . . . train gone.
Maybe it was a sign that those writing efforts were for me alone. I needed to re-live the pain and joys of those events privately, and voice gratitude to God without an audience. Believe me the time was not wasted even though I had nothing to show for it. I am grateful that I cannot lose the memories and the sense of gratitude as easily as I lost my ponderings.
At this moment I can’t recall any of the "ah ha's" of that day, the only two things I can salvage are the verse Paula gave to us with a piece of beach glass, and the poem Tom wrote and inserted into a music box filled with beach glass and shells.
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| Music Box & Poem |
Though not the glorious vessels they once were – some destined for beauty and the aesthetic, others molded for service.
Though broken and worn by tumult of winds and wave, even the smallest piece becomes a “treasure” for those who are thoughtful and would take the time to look.
Ecclesiastes 2:11 – He has made everything beautiful in its time.
I am thankful for the opportunity my déjà vu smell experience gave me to reflect on God’s faithfulness and sovereignty in my life. I wouldn’t trade one moment of my life - even the moment I deleted my blog - for a life without the presence of God. He is working even in the small things of my life to make me all that he wants me to be. As Ecclesiastes 2:14 says, “I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it.”
True, so true . . .
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