Lessons from Grandma

Several of my posts have been about death and dying, which to many might seem morbid and depressing. But for me, it is just a part of life and it is important to find good in even the most difficult times of life. Once again, I have the opportunity to ponder the goodness of God as I mourn the death of my Grandma at age 94, on December 16th.

Here’s a memory that I wrote to share at her memorial service that took place on January 16, 2011. Seems like just yesterday . . .

It is difficult to communicate in a succinct way all that I remember about Grandma – what made her so special and how much she did for me. I remember how she corrected my grammar, beat me soundly at Scrabble, and lovingly made ebelskivers for breakfast as a special treat. I have a clear picture of her knitting and crocheting beautiful afghans while cheering on the Dodgers or watching the evening news. She was the poster child for an independent, stubborn, and hardworking woman.

But in the end, it isn’t the funny or touching things she did or said that I remember, it is the way that knowing her has transformed my life. I didn’t necessarily know her through her own words or stories, it was her life that spoke volumes to me. I am the better for observing how she lived.

Through her influence I realized that it is okay to wonder, but don’t wallow. Grandma had a difficult childhood and could have wallowed in the unfairness of her life. I know that she sometimes wondered what life would have been like if she had grown up under the care of her loving mother, who died when Grandma was less than two. But in the midst of wondering she communicated that God was in control and had used her past to help her minister to others.

She taught me that it is not about what you get out of life, it is about what you give. Grandma modeled a simplicity of life and contentment that is unheard of in our overly materialistic society. She held possessions and resources very lightly. I think of that every time I covet new furniture, or want to remodel my perfectly lovely home, or hold on to possessions that I rarely use. Grandma wasn’t drawn to bigger and better or more; she would rather live simply so she could share generously with others. I know many of her children, grandchildren, and friends have been beneficiaries of her generosity. She couldn’t have been so generous without making the choice to live simply.

I also learned that hospitality and friendship are the two most valuable things you can give to others. Grandma hosted so many in her home – internationals, family, friends of her children – everyone was welcome. She gave of her time and offered her friendship to developmentally or physically disabled, shut-ins, and those who were new to the US. She truly loved and cared for all who passed through her life.

Last, but not least, Grandma taught me that I should be bold about sharing my faith. Grandma was not afraid to share her faith, even at the risk of offending someone. I know that God kept her on earth for all these years because there was just one more person who needed to know Jesus as their Savior. I am grateful for all that Grandma modeled for me, but in the end, this is the greatest thing I have learned from her.